carat: November 2009

The ana xxx

You should barf to empty your stomach not your remorses. And you should drink to numb your thirst not your pain.

The fall of the best

Today I let the mask slip just a little
and all the villains come flooding in.

The float

There are two great days in a person's life -the day we are born and the day we discover why.

The air is flammable. These walls are just paper. And my blood consists of pure gasoline. You shouldn't have come here, if you didn't want me to play with fire. I asked for a lighter and now I´m reading your letter like chemical formulars:

not understanding anything behind I mix the words and it will be perfect napalm.

The naked sentences

no hearts, no pretty drawing, no poems or cryptic message.
you make me happy. so much.

The dejected dino

I know you as I know myself. So not enough you´ll say. Well I´m about to forge ahead.

The eyes on the price

So that day I lost my mind. Lord, I'll find -maybe in time-
You'll want to be mine.

Ten years passed tonight.

The circle walks

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. They won´t fill it up for me won´t they?

Like hell, love, suicide. Like heroin in vain. Sang she with profanities. I behold her as she came.

The kid with its head up in the sky

I am nervous. I'm afraid. But I will stand here in the white hot heat of you. I will play Russian roulette with your playlists. I will tell jokes I'm not sure you'll find funny. I will hold on until there is no more reason to.

The skin deep regrets

Tell me what you know about dreaming. You don't really know about nothing. Tell me what you know about nightmares. Tell me what you know about having regrets. Tell me, world, tell me what you know about Medusa, because I´m looking at stone. Tell me how to say sorry to a tombstone.

The idea

I feel like putting a couch on an island in the middle of the freeway and wave at everyone on their way to work.

The look on the bright side

I feel too familiar with endings and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to want anymore beginnings for a long time. I like thinking I'm safe from heartache because I'm not with you.

The bohemian love

I miss your face. I miss the places that I once knew. This abscense lays with insomnia. I'm caught in bohemian love.

The broken time machine

I didn't say it enough. I didn't write it enough didn't whisper it enough, didn't trace the words with my fingers on your back enough. But I thought about it a lot. I thought about it so much. That's what I would do different, you know. Things would still probably have been doomed, but if I could do it all over again that would be what I do different. You would be certain because every night it would be the last thing I murmur in your ear. There aren't many things I can say I would repeat, but you're one and one of the few because your heart is as petty as mine.

I hold you in sky high esteem, lovey.

The guess

He used to think that he wanted to be good, he wanted to be kind, he wanted to be brave and wise, but it was all pretty difficult. He wanted to be loved too, if he could fit that in.
Some say love can only occur within the distance between separate things, that union is a condition after love has left nothing in its wake. I´d love to believe that.

The black insomnia

There's something hollow about the space something empty about the bed something cold about the mornings and too still about the nights and it's not just from loneliness I think but more from the thought of trying to fall asleep from now on with the sound of your deep breathing being replaced by the shuffling of the mouse that lives in the wall next to where I place my pillow.

carat