The year 2010

D.F.T.B.A.*

*don´t forget to be awesome

The point of view

I dream of you sometimes. Yearning for your image to exist outside my mind.

The hook

I blame Coco - No smile. For the three of you.

The one behind your forehead

Lock me up in your head and I promise to keep you happy because I might fall out if you cry. I just want back in your head.

The language in which I think

von mir zu sprechen ohne an mich zu denken:

Man braucht mich nur zu hören, um zu erkennen, dass es mir an Ausgewogenheit fehlt, dass ich zu viel denke, obwohl man doch viel eher gefällt, wenn man zuhört, dass ich schnell vergesse, dass ich außerdem sehr gerne vergesse.

Mein Leben ist nur eine verlängerte Kindheit. Meine beste Eigenschaft ist die Fähigkeit, nicht zu lieben, wenn man mich nicht liebt. Ich habe mir ausgesucht, wer ich sein wollte, und bin es. Egal, wenn ich nicht angenehm bin. Ich stürze mich auf Menschen, um sie zu zwingen, zu denken wie ich. Meine Meinung zu ändern ist mir unmöglich. Anderen zuzuhören ärgert mich, es sei denn hinter Türen. Ich arbeite gern im Lärm, im Gespräch, in Wirrwarr. Ich denke schweigend und ich kreire schweigend. In meinem Kopf lebt nur eine einzige Person als der Inbegriff eines Ideals.

Ich bin weder intelligent noch strohdumm, aber ich glaube nicht, ein Irgendwer zu sein. Das ist in Frankreich ohnehin niemand. Ich bin voll von Widersprüchen, die nur mich angehen, an die ich mich aber nicht gewöhnen kann; ich halte mich für die scheuste, die kühnste, die glücklichste und die traurigste Person. Nicht ich bin heftig, sondern die Widersprüche, die großen Gegensätze, die in meiner kleinen Person aufeinanderprallen.

Ich hasse das Alleinsein und setze doch alles daran, andere fernzuhalten, denn langweilige Menschen sind toxisch, und Langeweile wirkt auf mich wie Gift. Gutes Benehmen ödet mich an und Vernunft bringt mich um. Ich verabscheue, was hübsch und vergöttere, was schön ist.

Das ist alles, was ich zu mir zu sagen habe. Begriffen?
Nun.. das Gegenteil von all dem bin ich auch.

The wild things

Telling someone you don’t love them when you do is just as bad as telling someone you love them when you don’t.

I picture a land where only the things you want to happen would happen. We could totally build a place like that.

The mental massacre

If this is war please let me lose. I need to be destroyed to be rebulit.

The hospital

These days I feel just enough of you to remember you and that I lost you somewhere.

The physical law

You say that things fall to the ground because of gravity. I say the reasons are absence, distance, lockdown.

The vampire nights

And I know you have a heavy heart, I can feel it when we kiss. So many stronger than me have thrown their backs out trying to lift it. But me I'm not a gamble, you can count on me to split. The love I sell you in the evening by the morning won't exist.

You're looking skinny like a model with your eyes all painted black. Just keep going to the bathroom, always say you'll be right back. Well, it takes one to know one, kid, I think you've got it bad. But what's so easy in the evening by the morning's such a drag.

I got a flask inside my pocket, we can share it on the train. And if you promise to stay conscious I will try and do the same. We might die from medication, but we sure killed all the pain. But what was normal in the evening by the morning seems insane.

And I'm not sure what the trouble was that started all of this. The reasons all have run away, but the feeling never did. It's not something I would recommend, but it is one way to live. Cause what is simple in the moonlight by the morning never is.

The reflection of a world too afraid to speak

it´s not fair you can love someone and still be wrong for him/her.

The boo

You´ll come here and fight the monsters in my closet, won´t you?

The camera

Once you asked why people always expected you to smile in photographs. And I told you it was because they hoped that in the future, there would be something to smile about.

The Coco

My mind is as black as the heart of a land which has never capitulated.

The speed of light

Touch me I am losing shape. Look I am invisible. Can you say my name? Catch me I am almost there. How can I be near? I am highspeed I am everywhere! I couldn't catch your smile. You are blinded by another side. I couldn't say goodbye. You are traveling at the speed of light. You and me we never cross the boundary. That's how I know you. I can hear you say: You and me we never unveil mysteries. Once you are shining we never tried again. You and me always traveling separately. When I try to reach you you are miles away. You couldn't read my mind. How I wanted you to hold me tight. I couldn't save that night. I was passing by at the speed of light. We are flesh and we are free. Wa are drift wood in the sea. From the distance we are stars like there is a face on Mars. We are lost and we are one. We are neighbours to the sun. Slowly drifting out of sight. Traveling at the speed of light.

The track moments in life

HelloGoodbye. I´m right in between.
Hello I leave you. Goodbye nice to meet you.

The song we sang

In the moment I was shouting the Chorus of Aerosmith´s "Crazy" in your cold ear I´ve been the wisest girl alife.

The hardest part was letting go, not taking part

You told me it'd be ok. But you were the one crying. You told me to let go. But you were the one holding onto my shirt.

The cat

I feel how I imagine I would feel if I was someone's pet and they packed me up and moved to a new home.